March 22, 2009 at 2:21 pm #28440DSTMParticipant
Seven Degrees of Blonde (Don't miss the Sixth Degree!)FIRST DEGREEA married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. Thevery blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment, and said 'Howshould I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said,'Who was that?'The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coastis clear.'SECOND DEGREETwo blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on thesidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirrorand says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'So, the first blonde hands her the compact.The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'THIRD DEGREEA blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out andbuys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens thedoor she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is reallyangry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she isovercome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'FOURTH DEGREEA blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudlysays, 'Go ahead, ask me... I know 'em all.'A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. Its W.'FIFTH DEGREEQ: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?A: 'Is it mine?'SIXTH DEGREEBambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her USGovernment class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wadewas about.Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decisionGeorge Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware'SEVENTH DEGREEReturning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransackedand burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, theblonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and hisdog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, shemoaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the policefor help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND COP!' ;DMarch 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm #30626…spikepitParticipant
Good One ;DHere's some moreThere was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, â€œIs something wrong?â€To which she replied, â€œThere certainly is!â€My stupid computer keeps saying, â€œYouâ€™ve got mail!â€
Last One (For now ;D)A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived."My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?""Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped."Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car."Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ....""Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."September 3, 2009 at 10:13 pm #30627SolracnasParticipant
😀 Well, my day just got a whole lot better.September 4, 2014 at 10:55 am #40150ErnestoParticipant
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
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